Bicycle Lies & What Is Really Meant, Truthful Or Not
I am not going too slow.
- You are doing a relaxed/recovery pace on purpose.
- You chose to go on a ride that you knew would be a push and cannot keep up.
- The huge breakfast was a bad idea.
- Your city cruiser was the wrong bike for this ride.
- Send me more . . .
Today will be an easy day…also defined as:
- We are not going too fast, this is the normal speed for this group
- You are hoping the slower riders with drop off.
- You are hoping everyone will drop off.
- You are really pissed at someone and getting you aggression out.
I am not lost. I am exploring/offering an alternative route.
- You have no idea where you are and hope you find a familiar landmark soon.
- You are impatiently waiting for someone to say “I know a good shortcut/alternate route.”
I am not tired. I am just smelling the roses.
- You are shot and have no idea why you even got on your bicycle today.
- This was supposed to be a slower ride.
I am not bonking.
I will be back by 1 pm
- Only if there is a game I want to watch.
This is a no drop ride.
- Except, unless someone waits at every turn, you are lost if you do not know the route.
- Sure, they will wait for you, while you burn out trying to catch up. As soon as they see you, the group will start up again.
I can climbs these hills with the best of them. I CHOSE not to.
- You are just keeping an even pace.
- These aren’t hills, they’re mountains.
- You really don’t need to keep up on the climbs.
I am not riding today because I chose not to.
- Your significant other said “You’re going riding again?” and you realized the penalties you would reap.
I cannot help pull the pace line today as I am under the weather.
- About 4 miles from the end of the ride, you suddenly recover and break away for the final stretch.
- In our club on Long Island, NY, you would get a whole lot of attitude, however.
I absolutely can fix my own flat in record time.
- You are perfectly aware that by hesitating for a moment several others will offer to do it for you.
Today’s ride will, TENTATIVELY, be to this location via these roads. Changes may be made.
- Rider A – pulls ahead of you. You change the route to add a turn before the scheduled one.
- Riders B-G pull ahead of you. You change the destination.
- Riders H & K are at least five minutes back. See No Drop Ride above.
- Starting the ride with 15 people and returning alone.
Does anyone need a pit stop. Everyone says no.
- You are hugely disappointed, since you really could have used one.
- Several others in the group feel the same.
Today’s ride will not be hilly/long/fast.
- Define hilly.
- Define long.
- Define fast.
Some more on this.
As always, reader participation is welcome.